So we went out last night and it was fun. Met up with Brent and Sonya at the Taco Stand downtown. Brent’s ex GF works there and it was a little weird seeing her. She took off as soon as we walked in and didn’t come back till we were leaving.

After that we went to the Engine Room and drank some beers. Matt Head was there and I don’t know if it was his fault or not, but about that time the conversations became X rated. It was hilarious. Matt was hitting on Brent and had convinced himself that Brent was a closeted homosexual. Brent was fending him off quite well and it was very entertaining.

All in all, I had a good time. Meghan did too I think. I don’t think she’ll ever be the kind of person who likes to go downtown more than once every few weeks though. I hope she’ll come out with all of us more often!

One last note: On the way back to the car we came across a freak show parade of fuckers playing random instruments, waving placards, and marching around near Little Italy. Anyone know what the hell they were up to?

“Gotta smash my chin till I got a cleft.”

What was your first Athens show? I remember mine vividly. GWAR! At the 40 watt! I loved GWAR all through high school. Such awesomely vulgar and silly lyrics. The band had (and still has) a legendary reputation for over the top shows. I remember going into a record store in Mobile AL. The owner of the shop looked like Sloth from the Goonies. He was huge and scary looking. I bought a copy of America Must Be Destroyed. When he saw it he looked at me with fearful eyes and said “Dude, I’ve been to a lot of shows, but I’ll remember that GWAR show for the rest of my life”. Then he showed me a gnarly scar that ran the length of his bald scalp. “I nearly lost an eye!”

Dude.

So when I found out they were coming to the 40 watt, I bought tickets right away. Me and my brother went. When we walked into the 40 watt, we knew we were in for something awesome. The whole place was covered in black plastic wrap. Even the frikkin ceiling. Like they were expecting copious amounts of blood to be spilt.

The opening act was absolutely awful. I don’t remember the name of the ‘band’ but they sucked ass. Picture some dudes on stage dressed in black with makeup on making over the top satanic gestures while a giant red pentagram on a black background is lit up behind them. Meanwhile a chick with her gut spilling over her waistline was belly dancing wearing black leather. They had a mercifullly short set.

Soon the curtains covering up the stage were pulled back. The lights were lowered. A sound like whirling wind filled the air. A man was on stage. It was Jacques Cousteau. If you know the mythology of Gwar, you know that Cousteau discovered the band frozen in Antartica and unleashed them on an unsuspecting world. Jacques began to explain his discovery in a thick French accent. A slow, plodding, stomping was heard as the drummer, with a huge coglike protuberance from his head, took his place on stage. The crowd was waiting with baited breath. The bass player came next. I think his entire head was a steel bear trap. The rest of the band slowly marched on stage and into position as Jacques continued to expound. Finally, the lead singer, Oderous Urungus himself appeared, towering over all by a good 2 feet. In his hands was a giant sword at least as tall as himself. Jacques’ voice was lost as the wind built to a crescendo and then BAM! Oderous swung the sword and Jacques fell in twain as blood geysered to the ceiling. The band started playing as the fatal blow was struck. I forget the song but they were tight. Jacques’ legs and trunk continued to spray blood like a firehose into the crowd. People were crowd surfing to the front of the stage to drink from the gory fountain.

After the impressive opening number, Oderous brought it down a notch.

Oderous Urungus: “How ya’ll doing here in Athens?”
Crowd: Unintelligible noise
OU: “Isn’t REM from here? Michael Stipe, I want to suck your pipe”

Another song, this one seemed to be about killer Antartic pengiuns. In fact, one of them comes on stage and Oderous peels its face off in one swipe. Blood sprays from the eyesockets and more crowd surfing and moshing begin. The crowd is now soaked in gore. I’m watching from the back with my bro.

OU: “What’s this I hear about Marylin Manson? Do you know what the difference between Marilyn Manson and Oderous Urungus is?”
Crowd: “What’s the difference?”
OU: “Oderous isn’t a mule faced faggot! HA hahaha!!”

The crowd loved that one.

More songs. Soon, Slymenstra Hymen, the resident ‘woman’ in the band showed up on stage breathing fire, with a radioactive green glow coming from her crotch. The band finished up with a song about Jon Benet Ramsey. Oderous procured a life size replica of her corpse, pulled out a huge fake penis from his groin area, and proceeded to have sexual relations with the dead deceased corpse. Then he threw the corpse into the crowd and proceeded to ‘masturbate’ all over the crowd as some kind of goo began to spray from the fake penis. Again, people in the crowd surfed up to the front in order to be drenched. The corpse of Jon Benet was torn to shreds in the crowd.

The rest of the show was a blur. I recall their being a giant reptile named Gor Gor being on stage fighting with Techno Destructo. The moshing was intense and there was goo and gore everywhere. It was awesome.

Tonight I went to the Morton Theater and saw Japancakes play. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them. They were one of the last bands I saw before I left Athens for Erie 3 years ago. They are really quite good. I love good instrumental music. I also love John Neff’s pedal steel guitar. That sound really takes me back.

What is he saying when he plays? Have you ever noticed that his mouth moves while he’s playing. I’d love to know what’s being said.

Yesterday was a long day for me. I went to my first Georgia football game yesterday, and it was fun. I baked in the sun for many hours though. Have you ever noticed how you actually cook your brain when you are out in the sun? I just felt funny afterwards. Maybe I was just dehydrated….

Anyway, after Meghan, Travis, Heather, and I ate sushi, I took Meghan home and put her to bed. Then I drove down to the Go Bar and parked. After checking into the Go Bar and finding no one, I headed over to Room 13, henceforth known as the Engine Room. Sure enough, Brent and Geoff were there playing pool.

I ran into my friend Chris who began buying me whiskey shots. I can’t remember how many I had, but after that the pool playing got good. Somewhere in there I lost Brent and Geoff. The girls they were with were having some kind of weird situation.

Speaking of weird situations, I ran into my ex girlfriend Emily. Talking with her was awkward. She seems to be doing very well though, which I’m glad for.

I was kind of hoping Brent and his friends would have stuck around. I don’t know them very well and they seem like a lot of fun. I’m sure I’ll see them Thursday at Indie Rock Karaoke. That reminds me, I need to get my songs together…Magnetic Fields and Morphine!